My Big Fat Asian Family

Asian families, as we all know, ARE FRIGGIN HUGE!! You have like 20 aunties and uncles from dad's family and another 50 from mum's side! Then those aunties and uncles have 10 kids each! What the hell guys? Hello...!!! We have moved on from the dark ages. We have advanced technology which gave us... wait for it, here comes the shock of your lives.... A BLOODY CONDOM!!! Stick something at the end of it and stop having so many kids!! I swear to God, it ain't the Asian immigrants taking all the space in Britain. It's the Asian immigrants having all them damn kids! Please stop.

My family I would say is below average for an Asian family. My parent's only had the four of us. Below average... My mum has 3 brothers, 2 of which are married, and 1 sister. I would say that is fairly 'Asian average'. My dad has 5 brothers and 1 sister. he had 5 more siblings but they passed away. At the moment I've only got three cousins from my mums side and four from the other side. Not too bad. However, when you are Asian, your parents extended family become your family. That there is a disaster. You suddenly have all these new uncles and aunties and cousins, as we don't do all that second, third forth cousin thing. And you just think that you might want a vasectomy or have your tubes tightened. What's really bad is when the family gets together. Yes it's nice to see all the family together having a nice time, having fun, reminiscing, saying how big you've gotten and it's time to get married. But for someone who as claustrophobia and anxiety... dear God... I literally can't move in my own house when this happens. The kitchen has been invaded by the grandmother's and aunties. The living room taken over by the men and my room has been filled with all these kids! What the heck?! 

Another thing with Asian family's is that its too expensive to do ANYTHING! Can't go on holidays, can't go out to eat, can't go to the cinema. CAN'T BLOODY DO A THING! For holidays we visit our aunt in Birmingham, Luton or Manchester. We can go eat at our great uncle or grandparents house. We can get a dvd and squeeze together in our cousins living room. No! NO NO NO!!! We've had enough of seeing each other in the same environment, eating 'aunty's' samosas and currys. How about we go out instead of staying over at eachothers. Squished up on the bed or laying on the hard floor. It's not the best way to be having a fun sleepover!

All this being said I must admit that although I have a huge family, I'm really grateful for having them. And yes, ALL of them. It's really hard to actually do things but we do them together. Monthly family movie nights at my uncles is really crazy as some of us can barely get to the room. But the atmosphere is kinda nice. How all the ladies prepare tonnes of snacks, the guys picking out the films and the kids setting out the living room with cushions and picking their favourite places. It gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. And it makes me really happy because I know I've got all these people taking care of me and each other, even if we aren't immediate family. I love My Big Fat Asian Family!! 

But seriously, stop having so many kids. I always get the crappest seat on movie night. Let's all agree to stop at 2 kids. Agreed? Please...

:D